Losing The Music

I have really been struggling for about three weeks now. I have been very bla. Music has had no real emotional attachment for me. It has been a while since I have found myself singing in the morning. Before the three weeks music would motivate me or make me feel different emotions. My procrastination has been really bad, and I have even found myself struggling to get up early in the morning. I have not been as on the ball as I like to be. When it comes to work I have also been struggling. It has been very challenging for me to figure out what to do to help the children I am working with, to reach there goals. Even as I sit here trying to write this I find myself struggling to complete a thought, and even to make my brain engage any thoughts. For a very long time I have been struggling with myself because I know what I need to do but for some reason I almost never do it. It is like knowing I am not to touch something or I will hurt myself. And then just sitting there and watching myself reach out as I yell stop, stop, but I still touch it. I am getting extremely frustrated with being me. Now don’t start emailing me yet. I do understand and believe that I am a good person with amazing potential. This is one of the reasons that I am so frustrated. Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can live with being me. I know what I want and how to do it. I just can not figure out how to get myself to achieve this.