Everyone Struggles

I have not written in my blog for a while now, and yes there is a reason for that. In my job I have been struggling. Currently I hate my job. Now for people who know me this may be hard to believe but it is true. It is not that I hate the work, please don’t get me wrong. I love working with the student. I am just getting frustrated and drained with dealing with some people, and just the way things seem to work. I feel like I am being targeted by some people, other people just make my job harder. I am at the point where I am getting my AZ license this summer and I hope to have a job driving a truck ASAP.

Now I know what some of you are thinking. “You being negative, you are no better than the people you are complaining about” and you’re right, well right now. I notice something yesterday when I was hanging out with a friend of mine and her child. Her son was talking about someone who was not being fair with him. He decided that he was just going to treat the other person the same way. My friend responded you don’t need to change, you are better than that. You don’t need to stoop to that level. I have been thinking about this a lot. I feel I have stooped to their level. I have allowed people to control my feeling and my thoughts. This is something I always tell the kids I teach at the Drum Corps never to do. I now know one thing I must change. Character can only be developed when it is being tested. I heard that somewhere, and if it is true I am currently failing in that department. So I am going to the job I know I can do. Period.

I know this is not a long term solution. It will not stop what is going around at work. I have listened to a lot of personal life coaches and motivational speakers. A few things that always stick out are “if you don’t like your job quite”. They say you spend a lot of your life at work and to spend most of your life unhappy makes no sense. “Find a job you love to do so much you would do it for free, and then do it so well people would be happy to pay you for it.” I had achieved this until the last little while. I need to get back to this! It just doesn’t make any sense that I have received job offers from two other school boards in Canada to work there, but in my day to day job I feel like no one cares. I have even been asked to put on workshops in other boards in Ontario for there Special Education Teacher, but at my job I feel like a pee-on. It is time to take my life back.

“A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” John C. Maxwell