Back in The Saddle

Well here I sit in my hotel room on the first night of a weekend of drumline competitions. It has been a very long time since I have been involved with a competitive drumline, and it feels great to be back in the saddle. The bus ride was great with the bus full of kids all excited to be together. The energy was great. Tomorrow is going to be awesome; we have some free time that I will use to work out and stay on top of my goals. Then off to shopping which is nothing exciting but I do enjoy walking around seeing the kids have a great time.  After that it is game time! I am really looking forward to see how the kids do against the American kids. 

So I just helped walk around and make sure all the kids where in the right rooms for lights out. One thing I can’t believe is all the firsts I keep having after being involved in this activity for over 27 years. Yet tonight another first and this must be a school thing but a great idea. After checking the room to make sure the kids are in the right room we put a piece of tape from the door to the frame. Therefore if the tape comes off before we take it off we will know someone is out. I love doing this stuff.

It has been a great day and I am really looking forward to tomorrow.

My Choice

Last night I went clothes shopping which is never a joy for me, but this was the worse trip ever. It is hard to write about… I was at a big and tall clothing store and I was struggling to find anything that would fit me. It was an emotion filled trip; at first I was very, very angry. Then as I tried on a few things I become very sad and felt very hopeless. It took everything for me to be able to hold back the tear. I don’t cry I kept saying to myself in my head. I had to shut down all my emotions. It made me feel empty inside. When I was done I had to drive across the city to go to McMaster to help change some drums heads. The drive was a very long drive and seemed to take for ever. Positive part was it gave me time to think. In the past this would invoke a few drinks and some comfort food. Well not really some comfort food, a lot of comfort food. Right away I texted a close friend of mine so I would not feel like I was dealing with this alone, and she right away made me feel supported. The decision is mine now to follow past habits or to forge some new ones. A movie quote came to my mind from one of my favorite movies, “it is not about how hard you can hit, it is about how hard you can hit and keep moving forward.” So I decided to fight! To take responsibility for where I have taken my life! I have the power to change! I did not stop and pick up any comfort food which for me is fast food or pizza and wings. I did what I had to do and want for a walk around Bayfront Park. When I got home I had a healthy snack, showers and talked to my friend on the phone. I feel like I turned a negative into a positive.

Starting Point

         The Buddhist say all life is suffering, and everyone want to avoid suffering and wants happiness. This is something I have been thinking about a lot. I find myself getting tired of all the suffering I inflict on myself in my own life. Sitting here today I have realized I am getting in the way of my own dreams and goals.  There is so much I want to achieve in my life that I hunger for, but my weight is getting in the way. It is time to change that. There are a few things I am looking forward to after I achieve my goal of weighing less than 350lbs. I look forward to going to see a movie and live theatre again. I look forward to going to a restaurant and sitting where ever I want. I look forward to kayaking again. I look forward to dressing up again. I look forward to being around children and not hearing any fat comments. I am looking forward to playing with my nephew for hours. Most of all I am looking forward to holding the women of my dreams in my arms.

            One of my passions is working with children and young adults. I truly feel I have a positive effect on their lives. It is truly a joy to watch them grow and change. One of the things I always say is “ I don’t accept excuses, I want results”. It is time for me to practice what I preach and to truly lead by example.

            I want to leave you with something my cousin Lindsay once said to me, “Sometimes you have to give up what you have, to get what you want”.

One Man or Another

One man stands over his wife as he screams at her telling her how useless, stupid and fat she is.

Another man in the middle of his work day and sends a text to his wife just to tell her she is beautiful and he loves her.

One man sits in his corner office overlooking a beautiful view alone late at night to provide for his family. As his son sits in a big empty house watching TV alone.

Another man quits him management job that he worked years and years to achieve, and how has started all over at a new job so he can be home when his family gets home.

One man comes in from having a smoke and grabs a beer as he joins his family in front of the TV for dinner as all four of them share one box of Kraft dinner between the four of them.

Another man sells his families second car forcing him to ride a bike to work so he can pay for his child to go to University.

The only difference between one man and another is the choices he makes… what man are you choosing to be.

One Down!

It is the first day of 2009, and let me tell you it was a very eye opening day. It started out by fining out that all the American members of EPIC percussion theatre where not coming to camp this weekend. It is very frustrating to keep running into a brick wall. But I have to say I am finding this a huge learning experience. I understand that because this is the first year there is going to be a lot of growing pains. I just didn’t expect this many. Now my day was not all stress I was able to escape for a few hours today, and that is thanks my amazing girlfriend. We went to see the movie Bedtime Stories. I for some reason like to watch movies and get a little lesson or inspiration out of them. I truly feel that in the past I didn’t take enough time to myself. I really enjoyed just being with her and her kids. And yes I did get both some inspiration and a little lesson out of the movie. After the movie I came home and worked on more scheduling for EPIC and other paper work along with some cleaning around my place. I am looking forward to going to bed and getting to talk to my girlfriend before I do to sleep.

“The future depends on what we do in the present.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Miss you

I have not written in a while. Yes I do know a lot of my blog start out that way. I just wanted to write in hopes that a friend I have not heard from in a while may see this. I want you to know I miss you and am worried about you.

CLICK HERE!!!

A Beautiful Ending.

This picture was taken from my bedroom window on Sunday, May4, 2008. For the past year I have enjoyed many sunsets. A beautiful sunset is a great way to end the day.I really enjoy the small things in life.

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.” - James Dean