Lost My Song

So while I was lying in bed last night I was thinking about what has changed in my life, and not for the better. At first I spent sometime thinking about what have I been not doing, or been doing differently. Every morning before I would wake up around 5:30ish and make myself some breakfast. I would make the same thing everyday. I really enjoyed it. I would make egg whites with a cup of mixed vegetables in it. I also make a little minute steak, a honey bran muffin, about 8oz of cantaloupe. Finally a glass of skim milk, and a glass of light orange juice. Knowing that I am not a morning person this is a big thing for me. Now it is not just the fact I am unmotivated to get up, but a chain of events that fall after this. When I am up to do all this, wait a second here. I need to make sure you are sitting. I don’t want you to fall over. Ok are you sitting? Good! While I am making my breakfast in the morning I listen to my mp3 player and sing. Yep. That is right I said sing, and sing with all my heart. Then I get ready for work. I would walk to the bus stop. That takes about seven to ten minutes. Then on to the bus where I have about one hour to myself to listen to music, read, or just to think. I arrive to work about fifteen minutes early. Just enough time to get my bearings, grab a tea, and talk to a few co-workers. But for the past few weeks or even a month I have not been motivated enough to do this. I have been waking up in just enough time to shower, get a drive to work, and most the time I have been just on time or late. I hate being late! This affects my whole day. Everything seems rushed; I seem to go in to a survival mode, instead of trying to be proactive about my life. I don’t know what in my life has changed to cause this. But I am not me. I do try really hard to be the man I know I can be. And to live up to my own expectations I have for myself. I know that everyone has a reason for jumping out of bed every morning. It could be your child or spouse, someone you hold close to your heart. Maybe it is a dream you have or a passion to help someone. For everyone it is different. But what I do know I use to have this and somewhere along the way I lost it. I need now to figure out what it is I lost and how to get it back.