Fed Up!!!

Last night was a rough night. I don’t know why but I kept waking up every hour and sometimes every twenty or thirty minutes. Every time I work my body was warm and sweaty. Ya, I know kind of gross.

Today went very well for me, eating good and being active. Overall I am feeling very positive. In the past year I have learned a lot about health and food. Some that makes me feel positive, and some that makes me feel very disappointed. It is hard for me to accept what we in my area are doing to people in our community members, and what we accept as being okay. One of the things that have taught me a lot in a very short time is Harvey Brooker. My father paid for me to go for a bit, but I had to stop because I could not afford it at the time. I am working to afford to go back. They always talk about a documentary called “Fed Up”. I highly recommend it to everyone. 

I Don't Need Excuses!

Well it is day one. I was not planning on starting until January 1^st.  Recently I have been blessed with someone special in my life. It has given me motivation and hope. It didn’t make sense to wait ten more days. I have waited long enough. Something I have always to the students I work with is “I don’t need excuses, I need results!” It is time to walk the walk and get ready for the next part of my life.

Today I have been active; I have eaten right and officially stopped drinking pop. I have to be honest that I am scared. In the past I have tried to live a healthy live and have failed every time. You may ask what is different about this time, well I am ready. I have more knowledge then before, I have lots of support in my life and I have great reason and motivation.

Don’t get me wrong I know that it is going to be a struggle. I know I will hit many hurtles and I will fall many times.  The best I can do is take it one day at a time, be prepared, and when I fall get right back up!!!

This is how our story ends...

This is how our story ends...

To the Crusaders' Junior drumline I am prouder of you then I can put into words. Life is about the journeys we take more then the destination. I have spend sometime after yesterdays show to think about it and it is truly amazing what you all have achieved. Playing wise you guys have come so far in the last 9 months. There is not one experienced drummer in the whole group. Most important to me you guys have become a very close group of kids and have truly found a place where you belong and can now grow as people over the next 3 years in high school. I can see how much you all truly care and love each other. 9 months ago you started mostly as strangers and now you are family. Congratulations and thank you for all the hard work.

To the Crusaders' Varsity drumline and rock band. To say this has been our most challenging season in our very short history would be in understatement. I would like to truly thank you guys for supporting the numerous times this year when things where way out of my comfort zone and when I fell. Every time I fell you guys where the ones who picked me up. We tried something different this year with a goal of putting on a rocking show, connecting with the audience and taking them on a journey. The result of yesterdays show was a true reflection of the journey we have taken together. Through out the performance you guys supported each other, no one stuck out it was one beautiful blend of music. You guys connected with each other and most importantly with your audience. Before the show I asked you guy to not hold back to leave yourself and you hearts on the floor, and even the people at the back of the audience felt it. I could not have asked for anything else. I loved watching you guys perform yesterday, just sitting here thinking about it I am starting to tear up...okay. The last thing I ask of you guys is to leave no doubt, and that is what you did. To all our age out, you are an amazing group of young people who can do anything you guys put your minds to. I have seen you guys band together to over come challenge after challenge. It has been a truly pleasure to have been able to be a part of your life and I really hope that this is not where out story ends together.

To all the people who have come out and supported the Crusaders THANK YOU. We would not be who we are today without you.

To my friends and family at MM Robinson Congratulations on regaining your tile. But more importantly on sticking with each other through everything you guys have faced. I am impress with your abilities as musician but of the kind of people you have become. I wish I could have been with you more. Thank you for the memories.

To my Impact Family and my Family you truly are. We started this season trying to do something different. You put in a lot of work to make it happen and I truly appreciate it. But with the input of you guys I learned that what we where already doing is what we need to keep doing. I have learned that we are who we are, and who we are in a great group of people who love to drum together and have a lot of fun. It was amazing to have the whole Impact family in the same room for the championship performance. I am so excited for Impact's future and the growth we are planning for this summer. Thank you guy I truly Love you all!!!

Start...

"Start doing what is neccessary; then do what is possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible. " St. Francis of Assisi

Back in The Saddle

Well here I sit in my hotel room on the first night of a weekend of drumline competitions. It has been a very long time since I have been involved with a competitive drumline, and it feels great to be back in the saddle. The bus ride was great with the bus full of kids all excited to be together. The energy was great. Tomorrow is going to be awesome; we have some free time that I will use to work out and stay on top of my goals. Then off to shopping which is nothing exciting but I do enjoy walking around seeing the kids have a great time.  After that it is game time! I am really looking forward to see how the kids do against the American kids. 

So I just helped walk around and make sure all the kids where in the right rooms for lights out. One thing I can’t believe is all the firsts I keep having after being involved in this activity for over 27 years. Yet tonight another first and this must be a school thing but a great idea. After checking the room to make sure the kids are in the right room we put a piece of tape from the door to the frame. Therefore if the tape comes off before we take it off we will know someone is out. I love doing this stuff.

It has been a great day and I am really looking forward to tomorrow.

My Choice

Last night I went clothes shopping which is never a joy for me, but this was the worse trip ever. It is hard to write about… I was at a big and tall clothing store and I was struggling to find anything that would fit me. It was an emotion filled trip; at first I was very, very angry. Then as I tried on a few things I become very sad and felt very hopeless. It took everything for me to be able to hold back the tear. I don’t cry I kept saying to myself in my head. I had to shut down all my emotions. It made me feel empty inside. When I was done I had to drive across the city to go to McMaster to help change some drums heads. The drive was a very long drive and seemed to take for ever. Positive part was it gave me time to think. In the past this would invoke a few drinks and some comfort food. Well not really some comfort food, a lot of comfort food. Right away I texted a close friend of mine so I would not feel like I was dealing with this alone, and she right away made me feel supported. The decision is mine now to follow past habits or to forge some new ones. A movie quote came to my mind from one of my favorite movies, “it is not about how hard you can hit, it is about how hard you can hit and keep moving forward.” So I decided to fight! To take responsibility for where I have taken my life! I have the power to change! I did not stop and pick up any comfort food which for me is fast food or pizza and wings. I did what I had to do and want for a walk around Bayfront Park. When I got home I had a healthy snack, showers and talked to my friend on the phone. I feel like I turned a negative into a positive.

Starting Point

         The Buddhist say all life is suffering, and everyone want to avoid suffering and wants happiness. This is something I have been thinking about a lot. I find myself getting tired of all the suffering I inflict on myself in my own life. Sitting here today I have realized I am getting in the way of my own dreams and goals.  There is so much I want to achieve in my life that I hunger for, but my weight is getting in the way. It is time to change that. There are a few things I am looking forward to after I achieve my goal of weighing less than 350lbs. I look forward to going to see a movie and live theatre again. I look forward to going to a restaurant and sitting where ever I want. I look forward to kayaking again. I look forward to dressing up again. I look forward to being around children and not hearing any fat comments. I am looking forward to playing with my nephew for hours. Most of all I am looking forward to holding the women of my dreams in my arms.

            One of my passions is working with children and young adults. I truly feel I have a positive effect on their lives. It is truly a joy to watch them grow and change. One of the things I always say is “ I don’t accept excuses, I want results”. It is time for me to practice what I preach and to truly lead by example.

            I want to leave you with something my cousin Lindsay once said to me, “Sometimes you have to give up what you have, to get what you want”.